Finding an Identity “the Hard Way”

In high-school, I never had internet. There was no Facebook, no MySpace, no Second Life for me. I had to create my identity “the hard way” (this is probably what I’ll tell my kids someday instead of “I had to walk twelve miles, uphill, in the snow, just to get to school.”) I had to take “risks.” Sharing my musical tastes, wearing certain clothes, and becoming a self-proclaimed geek without the reassurance of a Facebook profile to validate who I was. I had to ask guys out face to face and run the risk of being rejected; no texts or Facebook messages to hide behind for me. Even though it sucked at times, it was real, it was instant, and it helped me find who I was. Reading this article made me wonder if the validation, the sense of empowerment adolescents are finding through NDM is the same as what they might find in “real life”? Does it really mean as much if someone tells you they love your new haircut online as it does when they tell you in real life? Is it as empowering to know that sharing a story helped someone else share theirs, even if you have no idea who that person is, even if you are unable to see their facial reaction as they read yours? Is the validation the same when a guy says “yes” to a dance invite in person versus an instant message? Are conversations as meaningful when they’re being typed on a computer late into the night compared to ones had face-to-face? I don’t think so, but I know that probably many people would beg to differ.

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